Teenage Pregnancy

The news headline to lower the age of consent for sex to 16 is what kept me wondering all day… WHY??
You have to be 17 to apply in a medical school, 18 to vote or marry (as a girl), 21 to booze. Why then the age of consent for sex be 16?
is this the need of the hour or is this a solution to the problems like stalking and voyeurism to “reduce the gross abuse” ( read it- to reduce the work load on Indian judiciary and run away from the problems), frankly I don’t know. If the legal age for the consent for marriage is 18 for girls, and since time immemorial leaders and thinkers have fought against the concept of child marriage, is this age lowering really necessary? It is in some way promoting the pre-marital sex. And with it, clearly indicates that the society is legalizing issues which literally don’t fit into our culture. Sexual pleasures at an age when you just hardly finish your high school education. Does the government even has an efficient program for sexual education to these school going lads?
With great powers, comes the great responsibility- our favorite spiderman said. Of course, the teenagers must be able to handle them if they take such a step. While talking to a friend’s mom, who happens to be a gynaecologist, it came to me a surprise that the number of MTP cases increased alarmingly in a last few years. More to my amazement was the average decrease in the age of patients consulting for it. People belonging to lower and the higher socio-economic status equally. The teenagers should be educated about the consequences of these acts and the way health may be affected, their lives would be affected. The formative years of their lives, the time to choose and make careers, become financially independent is what is important. These things follow. And if you think our personal lives have nothing to do with our professional lives, let me make you aware of the medical facts that we have only one brain. It handles all of it. There is practically no line of demarcation, and the limbic system is responsible for our emotions and memory equally. So our personal lives somehow do affect our profession. The question of teenage pregnancies- you are allowed to have a sexual intercourse at 16, you are not married, you get pregnant. What next? Logically, only two options- keep the baby or abort it. If u decide to keep the baby, is the mother ready physically and mentally to handle it all on her own? Are all the other issues settled and baby would be welcomed in this world and would be taken proper care of? The second option- abortion. Medically or illegally? Safe or unsafe? Why did you let it happen at the first place?
The teenage pregnancies are associated with many social issues, including lower educational levels, higher rates of poverty, and other poorer life outcomes in children of teenage mothers. Teenage pregnancy is usually out of marriage, and carries a social stigma in many communities and cultures. In the Indian subcontinent, early marriage sometimes results in adolescent pregnancy, particularly in rural regions where the rate is much higher than it is in urbanized areas. Maternal and prenatal health is of particular concern among teens who are pregnant or parenting. The worldwide incidence of premature birth and low birth weight is higher among adolescent mothers. Teenage mothers are more likely to have anemia, preterm delivery and seek less prenatal care in third trimester. Inadequate nutrition during pregnancy is even more marked problem among teenagers in developing countries like India. Young mothers and their babies are at greater risk of contracting HIV infection. An underdeveloped pelvis in lower age can lead to difficulties in childbirth. Obstructed labour is normally dealt with Caesarean section, but inadequacy of medical facilities can lead to eclampsia, obstetric fistula, infant mortality or maternal death.
Young motherhood affects employment and social class. It affects education and has psychological impact. Suicidal tendencies increase. The lack of education on safe sex, whether it is from parents, schools or otherwise, is a cause of teenage pregnancy. Many teenagers are not taught about methods of birth control and how to deal with peers who pressure them into having sex before they are ready. Many pregnant teenagers do not have any cognition of the central facts of sexuality. Some teenage girls have said to be pressured into having sex with their boyfriends at a young age, and yet no one taught teens how to deal with this pressure or to say “no”. The sexuality, drug and alcohol use, lack of contraception, age discrepancy in relationships, sexual abuse, dating violence, socio economic factors, childhood environment, media influence- all affect it directly or indirectly.
It is our moral responsibility to bring such issues to light and support and educate the victims- the future citizens of country. Prevention is better than cure, they say. Such a disgrace- the news headlines.

Solitude vs. Loneliness

The words to describe the feeling or state of being on our own may have a multiple dictionary synonyms. But these synonyms when encountered in flesh and blood can have entirely different psychosomatic state of minds. Here we go: solitude vs. loneliness.
Yes, a dictionary referral may tell us they are all the same, but the unfortunate reality says they are not. Loneliness is lacking companionship but solitude is being detached from the social interaction ‘by own wish’. Solitude is chosen, loneliness is inflicted upon us, either by others or by our own selves.
Loneliness is a complex and usually unpleasant emotional response to isolation. Loneliness typically includes anxious feelings about a lack of connectedness or communality with other beings, both in the present and extending into the future. As such, loneliness can be felt even when surrounded by other people. One way of thinking about loneliness is as a discrepancy between one's desired and achieved levels of social interaction,[1] while solitude is simply the lack of contact with people. Loneliness is therefore a subjective experience; if a person thinks they are lonely, then they are lonely as it is a self created enigma. Solitude can have positive effects on individuals. Solitude is also associated with other positive growth experiences, religious experiences, and identity building such as solitary quests used in rites of passages for adolescents.[12]
Chronic loneliness is a serious, life-threatening condition. Loneliness has been linked with depression, and is thus a risk factor for suicide, alcoholism and substance abuse. In children, a lack of social connections is directly linked to several forms of antisocial and self-destructive behavior, most notably hostile and delinquent behavior. In both children and adults, loneliness often has a negative impact on learning and memory. Its disruption of sleep patterns can have a significant impact on the ability to function in everyday life.[32]
Solitude is not the absence of company, but the moment our soul is free to speak to us and help decide what to do with our life. And after all who knows you better than yourself? Have a quality time with yourself to hear your inner voice. It is always the best for you. It’s all in your mind; what path you choose to walk on when left on your own. Choose wisely.
But beware my friend, solitude is a good place to visit but a poor place to stay. Nothing can beat the togetherness and love of family and friends. Speak up and talk away all your fears. Somebody out there is just meant to be with you. No man is an island, entire up to himself. If you hear him talk, he wants another one to step on it. Being with people has its own benefits. Even in hospitals, the premature infants are kept together, concept called co-bedding. It is an unconventional way of helping reduce infant death. It lowers the stress hormone levels and physiology of co-sleeping babies is more stable. We all need support, but make sure you don’t cripple without it.
“How sweet, how passing sweet is solitude!
But grant me still a friend in my retreat,
Whom I may whisper- Solitude is sweet”

Perception of beauty

Perception of beauty


Beauty is the combination of qualities that pleases the intellect or moral sense. The sense of beauty varies with culture. It is a subjective experience hence it is said, “beauty is in the eye of beholder”.

A quote goes, “beauty is power”. Here are some eye opener facts to show how does this power rules our society. Researchers have found good looking students get higher grades from their teacher than the students with ordinary appearance. Studies among teens and young adults show that skin condition have a profound effect on social behavior and opportunities. Money earning is affected by looks, shows studies. Good looking people have more promotion chances by luring their seniors by their attractive faces.

The situations are graver than they appear. Good looking people find an early love or marriage prospect. Beauty presents a standard of comparision and it can cause resentment and dissatisfaction when not achieved. People who don’t fit the beauty ideals may be ostracized within communities. Beauty is worse than wine. It intoxicates both the holder and the beholder.
Is this where our power is leading us? When we say, “appearances are deceptive”, why a thing of practically no importance, ruling our minds and society? Is this “beauty” deceiving us? Remember that the most beautiful things in the world are the most useless; peacocks and lilies for instance.

People are influenced by the images they see in the media to determine what is or what is not beautiful. Some feminists and doctors have suggested very thin models featured in magazines and on televisions promote eating disorders in the youngsters today who want to “appear beautiful”. Going through the matrimonial column in the newspapers, most of the advertisements say, “v’hsome boy seeks alliance from v’bful girl” and vice versa. When an advertisement is placed for a job vacancy, do they ever mention, prospects invited from good looking people only? Nobody ever mentions he/she is “not-so-good looking “, and still wants to marry? And if so is the case, everyone is handsome and beautiful and as a result, the whole world turns out to be beautiful and handsome. Perhaps, it is the fear of not getting the prospects earlier.

Well qualified people are often rejected by opposite matrimonial party just because of not being “good looking enough, tall enough, fair enough,” etc. what a strange illusion it is to suppose that beauty is goodness.

The market is flooded with products that “assure” you would look good after using them. May it be fairness creams that guarantee you fairness in ‘7 days’ or a diamond necklace. Do you really expect a magical reaction to occur within 7 days which would change the complete pigmentation process of your skin? Or not look beautiful without the super-overpriced piece of carbon?

How we look is what God has made us. It is just a part of being unique. It is just an identity we carry with us. In an institution, all the identity cards have same purpose and significance. Do we ever compare our id cards with other colleagues to check whose looks better? Then are we correct in comparing these God’s unique ids provided to us?

In the famous fairytale, ”beauty and the beast”, the young handsome prince was cursed only to find true love despite ugliness. So is it a curse to find a true love if you appear ugly in real life too? If yes, it is not true love. Because, if you love a person because he/she looks good, its infatuation, not love.

St. Augustine said of beauty, “Beauty is indeed a good gift of God, but that good may not think it a great good, God dispenses it even to the wicked.” Beauty should be more a concept of inner good. It is evident that ‘all that glitters is not gold’. It is more of a concept that to look good outside, you have to feel good about you inside. It is you who should like yourself first before expecting the world to like you. Self acceptance and self respect gains you much confidence and helps you present yourself better.

Your inner face including your personality, intelligence, grace, politeness, charisma, integrity, congruence and elegance helps you create a long lasting impression and constitutes the real you. After all, it’s the beauty of soul which makes you a lovely person, not merely your structural attributes. “What a strange illusion it is to suppose that beauty is goodness!”

A much needed change in the outlook of society is needed, a radical reform to help to help the so-called, “ugly people with a good heart” live a better life with lesser compromises. “Beauty in things exist in mind which contemplates them.” The Greek associated beauty with being of one’s hour, for e.g. a young lady appearing old or an old lady trying to appear young with artificial aids may not be considered beautiful. A woman in her ‘ripe old age’ may be as beautiful too. Also, the Greek concept of beauty was more an aspect of symmetry and congruence, which is visible in the Greek architecture.

Evidence that perception of beauty are evolutionarily determined, that things, aspects of people and landscapes considered beautiful are typically found in situation likely to give enhanced survival of perceiving human’s genes. After all, Rani Mukherjee was smart enough in saying ,”mujhe gore log nahin, kale log pasand hain.”

Being somebody else's life!

“Wake up!! You have to go to class at 8”. That is how my day started. “ Have your breakfast and don’t forget to wear you jacket, its chilling out there.” Sounds like your mom giving you instructions. But she was my girlfriend, my second mother, my life. Yeah, she was my life. I couldn’t imagine my life without her. I don’t know what would have happened to me if she never came to my life. She gave me a meaning. She defined me. She was my first girlfriend and probably the only. I never knew life could be so meaningful. I had a reason to stay safe, to stay away from recklessness, to stay alive. She was my night, made me feel like a shining star. I always thought of myself as a complete loser, she told me I was her hero. I always thought nobody would like me, she loved me. I always thought I was a trouble maker, she relied on me to solve her problems. I thought I was a bad omen in peoples’ lives, she told me I was her lucky charm. She was probably the only reason I realized my life was disorganized. She made me eat and if I failed to do so, she would starve in return. She never asked me to change, but I changed. I thought old habits die hard, but you need a reason strong enough to kill them. She was totally a crazy stupid woman, still she was my life. She was the most beautiful girl my eyes could ever see. Her eyes were the best feature of her fair and round face. Her dark eyebrows lined them, perfectly contrasting her skin. Her hair, best when wet, fell down randomly ,curling up at ends. I just wanted to play with her flocks. Her nose, she told she dint like it, was sleek and straight and you should really envy its perfection. Her cheeks still laden with small amount of baby fat, pulling them was the only the second appropriate thing you could do with them. And her smile, more potent killer than a nuclear bomb!! That was my life. She was the perfect part of my apparently imperfect life. She was a career woman, she played sports, she could cook, she was a very smart and outgoing person, lots of social contacts, and she listened to rock music…that I too enjoyed(and the best part because it allowed us to communicate in language of music). She could take perfect care of me. Her presence meant I would not need anybody to be around me. We were two opposite poles. After all, relationships are not about having similarities; its more about respecting the differences. Also, smart people are those who find opposite pieces of jigsaw puzzle so that they could fit, not the same ones. And I thought I don’t deserve her. She was too good for me. But I had a habit to get lucky everytime in my life. And I got lucky in her case too. Cupid blessed me. Change is the law of universe they say. Nothing is permanent except change. Our relationship was too, destined to change. Nobody was at fault, it is just a matter of difference of priorities. She was my priority and her career for her. I could never understand this. After all, she was my night, she was a sweet dream. I have to wake up. It’s 8. I have to go to a class. Yes, I am not dreaming anymore. I don’t know if I really loved her or not, because it was just a dream. You don’t fall in love with wrong people, you are born at wrong places.